The Ten Stages experience, is that we who are blinded to our own traumatic history have a difficult time admitting to ourselves who we really are

The Ten Stages experience, is that we who are blinded to our own traumatic history have a difficult time admitting to ourselves who we really are as a consequence have problems connecting with what really motivates us. This honest admission and connection is vital to engaging with the ten stages.

So we encourage you to take this process slowly. In fact, we know no other way. Many religious and spiritual traditions suggest that recovery can happen quickly, in a bolt of awakening light. That has not been our experience, despite the inevitable revelatory lightning bolts of insight that do come along the way, after much discourse and critical thinking. Although we see recovery as a goal, we keep in mind that it is an unfolding goal and an emotional process of understanding.

This is not a recovery program to complete in a day or a week. If you are in a rush, as many of us are when we begin recovery, working one stage a week or even one stage a month is a more reasonable goal. Many of us need longer than that, and discover recovery to be a process that takes years, even decades, even a lifetime. If you take these stages seriously, and take seriously the tools associated with them, you should have a lot of studying and conversations ahead of you,  a lot of quite processing. Both take time. Our job is to honour that recovery process.

We encourage you to be gentle with yourself as you undertake the self-study that the ten stages provides. We encourage you to practice self- kindness, self-love, and patience. Doing this process is painful. That is inevitable. But it does not have to be torture. The traumas of our childhoods were torture; repeating that in adulthood is not recovery.

We wish you strength and courage also ingenuity and self- respect. These are vital for our recovery, we believe to the core of our child within that every one of us has them. It is just a question of honestly tapping into them.


The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com