Kindfulness is the action stage of the ten stages

Saltburn Wednesday

Kindfulness is the action stage of the ten stages and can be experienced in the home. It’s about being true to our own recovery feelings and values, and expressing this to other people so our feelings and values get an airing, and so those people know where they stand with us.


If we’re not acting in a way that is kind to ourselves, we will not be acting in a way that is kind towards other people. 


Kindfulness isn’t lending someone money when you know they’re going to spend it on drugs, alcohol, or rack up more debt.


Kindfulness is telling them you’re not going to lend them money and doing what you reasonably can to support them through their journey.


Kindfulness isn’t heaping holier-than-thou judgement on someone in that situation.


Kindfulness is finding compassion and understanding for where they’re at, while maintaining your own boundaries and respecting your own needs.


Kindfulness is telling someone when we feel upset with something they said or did.


Kindfulness is accepting where other people are, and not trying to change them. Kindfulness is accepting that might mean a toxic relationship is over – because we can’t change other people.


Kindfulness is helping someone out; not to have some sort of debt owed by them, not to try and make ourselves look good, but from a genuine compassion for fellow human-being.


Kindfulness is acting without expectation of reciprocity or recognition (although there’s nothing wrong with enjoying it). Kindfulness is an anonymous donation, it’s a surprise email with no expectation of a reply.


Kindfulness is respecting other people’s boundaries. It’s trusting that that person knows what’s best for them. Ignoring those boundaries is not kind.


Sometimes kindfulness is difficult, it can mean watching other people slide into a dark place and have to face up to the consequences of their actions. It means looking back at our own actions and facing up to the consequences of our own behaviour. Sometimes it means saying: “No.”


True kindfulness can be tough, and it can leave us feeling less than kind.

The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. #childwithin#10stages