We have to finally face the pain, grief and suffering or we slowly wither away.

We were all born lovable, sociable and non-violent.The Ten Stages recognises that their is a problem in the addiction industry, that their is no such thing as addiction. Addiction is a bad dissociation decision. Everyone has the potential to become fully RECOVERED: ‘We have a human being in front of us who has a software problem. It’s not a hardware problem.’ childhood is now over, and every single one of its ill-effects can be winkled out from those hidden depths and thrown away – provided always there are abundant supplies of Truth, Trust and Consent and the ten stages.

When born, we all need a free lunch, else we starve. Every human infant comes into this world 100% helpless – if you are not cared for, or if your care is unreliable or untrustworthy, then you cannot flourish and blossom as you should. Your carers are vital. They are there to protect you. But what if you need protection against your protector? What if, instead of telling you you are gorgeous, glorious and delightful – which you are – they treat you like a lump of meat? Well this, understandably, pickles the mind.

What if, instead of cherishing you as all parents should, one (or both) of them starts doing something not FOR you but AT you? What if, instead of talking directly to you, taking you fully into account, being respectful, they become totally preoccupied with something else – as if you were not there, an alien, a thing. This is devastating for you – annihilation is next. 

So you do the only thing you can – you pretend it isn't happening,you escape,you dissociate which in a twisted way is what your abuser is already doing. This ‘pretence’ is your only available defence – it allows you to survive in an intolerable situation – but it costs and to sustain it addictions are practised. It is designed to distort reality so that you can survive in it – but that distortion needs correcting when childhood and the abuse is long over – and there’s the rub. What you worked so hard to hide, because it is vastly too dangerous to admit – must now be ventilated in full daylight – not an easy reversal, but, given enough trustworthy support, assuredly 100% possible using the ten stages. The logic here being that what applied in infancy no longer applies in adulthood – child terrors persist because the sufferer is too terrified to see that they are now over.We have to finally face the pain,grief and suffering or we slowly wither away.





The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. #childwithin#10stages