The joy that comes from realising that suffering in our lives comes from the meaning we have been given in childhood is unlimited.

The joy that comes from realising that suffering in our lives comes from the meaning we have been given in childhood is unlimited.



We are not saying that painful things in our child withins past didn't happen, but what we am saying is that they no longer have to be painful.



And it's not as easy as changing our mind once or twice. It takes acceptance, and contact. But if you relax and try enough over time, new life and new meaning can emerge.



One of the best ways we know how to do this is to take ourself out of our own story and step into the thoughts, feelings and beliefs of the person who hurt me. Not so we can make what they did right, but so we can begin to understand the painful event from their own child withins point of view.



As we have guided stagers through this process, the outcomes have been amazing. They have found understanding on a whole new level for themselves and others. And, yes, even around VERY traumatic events.



The point of understanding is not to make what happened right, but to bring a new sense of empathy and compassion to all involved – this includes us.



The best way to understand people who have hurt us is to generate compassion for them, because that is how we break the bond to the pain-filled events. And from there, when we step into their shoes and consider how they must have been thinking and feeling, we begin to understand that their actions were not truly against us, but simply a request for Love or Significance in a very messed up way; that was the best way that they knew how to at that time.



And from a child within perspective, we can claim ownership over the meaning we give that event and no longer make it about how it hurt us, but about how they were hurt and see how our job is now to step into more Loving-kindness and compassion and empathy, both for them and for us. This takes us deeper and helps to bring clarity, resolution and understanding.



 Our hope is that this blog can be a starting point for us on the journey of understanding, of empathy and of compassion, so that one day soon you will be set free of the chains that bind us to our past.



When we see things from the point of view of others, we realize that what they are doing as not against us, but as an action to make up for the Love they didn't get. It's that simple. And in this realisation, we can transcend the hurt and the pain because we realise it was never about us in the first place, and so our victim story can be replaced with the story of our hero who overcame the darkness in another with Loving-kindness.
















The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. #childwithin#10stages