Loving-kindness is the secret weapon we use in The Stages

Loving-kindness is the secret weapon we use in The Stages, it is unconditional, inclusive love, a love with wisdom. It has no conditions; it does not depend on whether one “deserves” it or not; it is not restricted to friends and family; it extends out from personal categories to include all living beings. There are no expectations of anything in return. This is the ideal, pure love, which everyone has in potential. We begin with loving ourselves, for unless we have a measure of this unconditional love and acceptance for ourselves, it is difficult to extend it to others. Then we include others who are special to us, and, ultimately, all living things. Gradually, both the visualisation and the meditation phrases blend into the actual experience, the feeling of loving kindness.


This is a meditation of care, concern, tenderness, loving kindness, friendship–a feeling of warmth for oneself and others. The practice is the softening of the mind and heart, an opening to deeper and deeper levels of the feeling of kindness, of pure love. Loving kindness is without any desire to possess another. It is not a sentimental feeling of goodwill, not an obligation, but comes from a selfless place. It does not depend on relationships, on how the other person feels about us. The process is first one of softening, breaking down barriers that we feel inwardly toward ourselves, and then those that we feel toward others.
Related articles

• Ego always seeks death. Recovery always seeks life.
• We make our painful sacrifices on our inward path to discover our truth in recovery
• we will FEEL as if we are actually taking care of ourselves.
• Acting out always catches up with the actor.
• The Stages seeks a solution that moves us beyond his or her "painful inner dialogue." and out into the clear blue waters of recovery.
• So if we give up the doing escaping from that is pointless, we will automatically start healing.